Very Surprised

I'm one of those parents that think that babies understand a lot more than we give them credit for. This is why I try to keep a near constant chatter going of what we're doing where we're going, etc.

One piece of evidence that confirms my thoughts is the "legs down" of diaper changing. Pretty much from the start of doing diaper changes I would say "legs down, please" a number of times to attempt to get Maddie to straighten her legs while I finish fastening her diaper and diaper cover. I would say it while I would gently push her legs down if she didn't do it on her own. It didn't take long, maybe under a week, before she would straighten her legs and hold them like that for a minute or so when I would say "legs down, please." She might have been a month old or less when this started. I remeber being impressed at how small she was when she started doing that. What is language besides associations between sounds and meanings?

I sing the bus song with Maddie a couple times a day and move her arms with the song. ("The wheels on the bus go round and round...) She loves it! I love it! It's fun times and it makes her so excited and happy when we do it. Maddie (and probably all babies) don't have the longest attention spans. They gaze all around and turn their heads and check out their worlds. Well, yesterday I came home from work and Maddie was in her rocker. She was checking out the world, turning her head, not really paying attention to me directly and I sang and held the first note of this song. I've never seen her move so fast. Her head turned to face me and she got this huge smile; she knew exactly what was happening. It really caught me by surprise how quickly she focused on me and became so excited.

This is why I'm really loving having Maddie in my life. It's so amazing to watch her learn and be herself.

Sleep

It seems that our little munchkin has been working on sleeping through the night.

Four days ago she slept 11 hours straight, and then the past couple of nights she slept 7 or 8 hours straight. Last night was an exception; she was back to waking up twice. Once at 1:30 AM and the second time around 5 AM. But you have to take a step back to keep going forward.

I can handle waking up once. I just make sure I also go to sleep early so I can be sleeping during that longer block of time.

Also, a couple weeks ago she started really having a predictable bedtime. She goes down for the night around 7 or 8PM.

I'm looking forward to the days when she dependably will sleep through the night. Though I'm told this will disappear when she starts teething.

I also feel really fortunate that she can go to sleep pretty easily. Sometimes she'll have her "suck" on; when her sucking reflex is really strong and it's clear through attempts at feeding that she's not hungry. We'll give her a pacifier at these times in an attempt to prevent her from getting in the habit of sucking on her hands. But frequently I can put her down for the night without anything and she'll fall asleep without sucking on anything. It's pretty cool. We only put her down to sleep if she's showing signs of being tired.

Smiles and Hands

Madelyn has been finding her hands recently. She actually found them a couple weeks ago now, but has been getting really good at using them. We have this rattle that I can hold in front of her and she'll actually grab it. She's also become pretty proficient at getting her fist in her mouth.

She's also so extremely smiley. I love the huge grins she gives me, pretty much anytime I see her. She makes me smile really large too. Who could help themselves? I also love the power of suggesting that I have where I can smile large at her and she'll smile back, even if she's not in the best of moods. Though she's such a happy baby most of the time.

This picture isn't even her smiling big. This is just a casual smile. If her eyes were squinted shut, then you'd know she's smiling big.

I'm going to try harder

Using this blog, I've really wanted to write down my thoughts and experiences with Madelyn (12 weeks old yesterday!) as they were happening. But somehow I haven't found the time. It still amazes me how fast and yet also so slow time passes with a small baby. Will it be like this for the rest of my time watching her grow up?

I feel so fortunate to have Madelyn as our baby. She has the best temperament. She's mellow, smiley and sleeps well enough. I really can't imagine what I would do with a baby that cried a lot and was in general pretty fussy often. It just tears me up when she's unhappy.

I've had fussy moments with Madelyn, but I've figured out that mostly those were due to either her being way over tired, the huge amount of gas she was getting from most of the formulas that I was using, or a combination of the two. So I finally figured out a formula (a mix, really) that seems to do the trick and I'm much more aware of how much stimulation she gets.

I've also figured out that she's a "cat napper", and if I don't get her to a good nap space in the window before she shows strong signs of being tired, she won't sleep at all. So with that first yawn I give her a chance to catch one of her "cat naps." I've only seen her nap longer than about 20 minutes at a time once or twice.

I used to think it would be nice if she had longer naps during the day, but I've come to realize how fortunate I am that she sleeps well enough at night and has good sleeping skills. She's recently shown the pattern of going to sleep around 8pm and being awake for the day around 6am. And during that time she only feeds twice or once. She's able to put herself back to sleep by herself also, which is a huge skill to have. It means that when she's ready, she'll probably sleep through the night with little fuss.

We currently have family bed, which I think will become more important to me as I return to work and will no longer be with her during the day. It also makes the nighttime feedings really easy. I can't imagine having to actually drag myself out of bed for each night feeding.

Here's Madelyn taking a nap. We've decided to let her use the pacifier so that we would be able to take it away, as opposed to her getting into the habit of sucking on her hands.

5 weeks and 2 days ago you were born

I can't believe 5 weeks have passed already and I can't believe that it's only been 5 weeks!

I feel like in the past couple weeks I've finally mostly gotten the hang of this Mom thing. I feel like most of the time I can fix whatever is making Madelyn unhappy. Most of the time. And during those times when I can't, it tears me up inside.

Madelyn is usually a pretty mellow baby. She's usually happy and when she has unhappy times, they can be solved. Usually. For the past couple days she's been having a really large amount of gas. She gets really unhappy about that, to the point of scream crying. Sometimes doing bicycle movements with her legs, or massage with help. But sometimes nothing seems to help. When that's the case it's really hard to deal with. Even though I know there's nothing I can do, it still tears me up inside. It makes me crazy, really. The hormonal reaction in me when Madelyn is crying is so intense. Wow, is all I can say. I can see why some women go nuts. I've gotten pretty close myself, but only a couple times. Luckily I do have the presence of mind to walk away and calm down.

I'm completely against leaving a crying infant alone. I think that at the very least they should have human contact and comfort especially if you can't solve their problem. I also believe that it's in everybody's interest for me to walk away for a couple minutes when I get so worked up. It's the dichotomy of parenting, I suppose.

Nada, Zilch

It's been a week since I lasted posted and I was sure a week ago that we would be so busy with our new bundle of joy that I wouldn't be posting for that reason.

Well, I have not delivered yet. I'm now officially 1 week overdue from my ultrasound date of July 19th. Our daughter is firmly a Leo now (so much for being a Cancer).

I started a series of acupuncture last Thursday for inducing labor and my midwife told me to relax because my body is still showing signs of progress, even if they're not as fast as I would like.

The last day my midwife can deliver me at home is August 2nd, at which point I'll be 42 weeks. I've been told that she's never not been able to induce before that point. Castor Oil appears to be the favorite last ditch mechanism, but I think that she thinks I'll naturally go into labor before then. I guess we'll see.

All the predicted dates of delivery by various friends has passed. The only other fun date is July 26th, which is my mother-in-law's birthday. That would be quite a present, but I'm guessing I would already have to be in labor to make that mark at this point. I'm expecting labor to take many hours, 16+ or so. But I really have no idea how long it will take in it's entirety.

Weekend Fun and Due Date

The best part of my weekends right now is that my honeypot is around. Otherwise he's at work.

I took it pretty slow this weekend. My energy levels are pretty low these days. Today's my due date (according to the 20 week sizing ultrasound.) My other due date was the 7th and that was based on my own information. Any day now I should be "popping." I'm completely ready and slightly desperate to have that happen. I'm really uncomfortable right now.

Yesterday I made a pair of purple yoga pants complete with a fold over top that I can wear right now, and when I'm not "big bellied" also. I only really have one other pair of pants that I can wear right now and I'm liking wearing them a lot more lately.

Earlier in the day we went down to San Leandro and hung out with my honeypot's sister while she unpacked. She moved into a house close to a new teaching job she took. It's a super cute house with a great back deck. It'll be great for parties.

Today I went to the Renegade Craft Fair and then had lunch at Plant. They both were really awesome. The craft fair had so many really creative vendors and inspiring artists. Quite a bit of the style of the crafts there remind me of Portland, OR. I bought a really cool purple coat even though it was breaking my rule. (I'm not allowed to buy clothes that I can't try on which means anything not maternity.) I couldn't pass this coat up, it's not something I would ever run across again. It's just that cool and creative.

Plant is this amazing restaurant that I'd heard about before from my honeypot. He ate there after a bike ride and loved it. I was also really impressed with the food. I had the garden burger, but the name doesn't describe how amazing it was. It was this lentil and beet patty with tons of other stuff (vegies and seeds) on really good bread with a side salad. They had lots of vegan options and everything just looked amazing. The best part is that they were still serving brunch and it was probably 2pm or so. Too bad it's not closer, we'd probably go there often. I'll have to do my best to remember it for when we're in the city and hungry.

Then we went to the park and played with juggling clubs, whips and just watched the dogs and people. Today was beautiful and sunny. I didn't last long in the park though because currently it's really hard on my body to sit without back support.

Lake Merritt

Yesterday I got up really early and continued my tour of coffee shops. This time I walked to one that's on the edge of what I would call "my neighborhood." I had the best bagel and egg and mocha there. They even double toasted the bagel for me. And the best part is that they open up at 6am. This is really great for folks like me that can't sleep so well anymore.

Yesterday afternoon I decided that I wanted to go for a walk and get some exercise. Instead of doing the loop that I normally do around here, I decided to drive to the other end of town and walk around Lake Merritt. It's a really nice walk and there are always tons of joggers there also. It's 3.2 miles and I had walked it last week with my friend with no issues.

I made it about half way around when I realized that this wasn't such a good idea. I've been really achy and sore lately, probably my body getting more and more ready for birth, and doing this walk was really taking it out of me. I had also already walked several miles earlier in the day for that coffee shop visit and an errand. Anyway, finishing the loop ended up being quite a chore and I was pretty beat up the rest of the day and night. Luckily I woke up today and I feel ok. I'm still achy and sore, but that's become "normal" lately. I guess that's the great disadvantage of walking around a lake, you can't cut and make it shorter if you need to. I'll be keeping that in mind for the next week or whatever I have left when I'm taking my walks.

Pregnancy Update, Fleas and Mites

I just had an appointment with my midwife and her apprentice and I was told that I'm 50% effaced and -2 engaged (which is how far down the pelvic cavity she is currently, the larger the negative, the farther down she is). She mentioned that I had about another week to go, and that the effacement was super soft and really great.

Knowing that I probably have another week has inspired me to start working on the yard a bit. We still have this open part just waiting to get planted with some food starts. It's been sitting fallow since I took out the tomatoes easily half a year ago now.

Yesterday I cleaned like a maniac again because I kept getting bitten and I'm pretty sure that it's flea bites. I treated Stella last week for fleas, but I'm guessing she had them bad enough that they just jumped cat and were lurking and waiting to bite myself and my honeypot. So I basically washed everything made of fabric in hot water, vacuumed like crazy, and I think I've got them beat. I'm so glad that we have hardwood floors and not carpet. It's so much harder to beat them when the entire house is carpeted.

Cooking and Cleaning

I've been using my free time to cook a lot lately.

Yesterday, was a day where I kept myself really busy all day long. I never had a moment of down time and was on my feet most of the day. It helped me sleep really well last night.

Today, I wasn't moving quite as fast. After I had breakfast, I fell asleep on the couch for an hour, and then I got up and have been doing stuff, albeit a little slower.

Yesterday, I made kimchi, yogurt and green curry for dinner. I ate some of the yogurt this morning, and it came out pretty good. I couldn't figure out how to "cook" it though after I added the cultures because our oven doesn't go that low. Instead I put a couple candles in the oven and hoped for the best. It seemed to work ok.

The kimchi was actually a lot of fun to make because I had to pound the crap out of all that vegetable matter. It's currently sitting on my counter fermenting right now and will sit there for a couple more days.

Right now I'm making ranchero sauce. We're having huevos rancheros for dinner tonight. I've always wanted to figure out how to make a decent ranchero sauce. It's not completely done yet, but so far it tastes great! I'm hopeful that I've found my recipe.

In other news I started reading "The Red Planet" by Robert Heinlein last night. It's pretty good and I'm about half way through. I'll need to find a new book soon.

Kids Clothes

Tomorrow we're celebrating the third birthday of my friend's twin girls. I had little idea of what size they actually are, but I used some pattern measurements to figure out the height and waist of size 3. I'm hoping that these sparklie skirts either fit well, or are too big. It would be a bummer if they were too small.

I got to use my newly rebuilt serger and also the ruffler foot that I'm still really excited about. Both skirts together probably took me 4 hours total, possibly less. I also used my serger to fasten in the elastic waist band, which is a first for me. I historically haven't used my serger to do things that don't require cutting, and it works pretty well.

I Am The Luckiest Person Ever!

Guess what I woke up to this morning? Breakfast in bed! And not just any breakfast, but an egg sandwich complete with greens and cheese and walnuts and a perfectly toasted whole wheat english muffin and other ingredients too. My honeypot, who is working his butt off right now, made me, the "big bellied" lady who is no longer working, breakfast in bed. How special is that? Extremely special and I so appreciate the attention. He's so fantastic and for many reasons way beyond today's treat.

In not so great news, I had two leg cramps yesterday. The first one was actually in the bottom of my foot while we were watching Juno last night (a great movie). I've never had one during waking hours and that one was relatively mild. I've discovered that if I take my calcium/magnesium supplements once in a while, which has a bunch of other nutrients in it also, I don't get these. Even after the mild one, I forgot to take that supplement and it's been a couple weeks now. Oops. Well, I paid for that mistake with a pretty bad calf cramp at about 5 in the morning.

The notable thing about all this is how much better I've gotten at handling these cramps. The initial bolting upright in bed from a deep slumber to this amazing pain is still the same. It's startling and annoying. Now I immediately start to use the pain management meditation techniques we learned in our birth class and it usually doesn't last more than a minute or two. Another interesting thing is that previously I would be hobbled for the entire day because my leg would be so tight, even though I would spend lots of time rubbing it out. Well, now I'm quickly relaxing my leg in that meditation and even 20 minutes later my leg was completely normal without any pain or tightness. It's pretty exciting because, besides the lack of hobble, it reconfirms my belief in these pain management meditation techniques I've learned. Which is a darn good thing, because that's the majority of what I'm going to be using for my home birth.

For the record, I think I've had maybe 10 leg cramps throughout my pregnancy. Which isn't really that bad. Zero would be better, but 10's not so much either. I can't imagine being one of these women that have them all the time. That would be a huge bummer.

The Geography of Bliss

For the past week or so I've been slowly reading this book where the author tries to quantify why certain cultures and countries appear to be happier than others according to happiness researchers.

The happiest place according to positive psychology researchers is Switzerland followed by Qatar and then Iceland. I haven't gotten to the chapters about the other countries yet.

It's pretty entertaining partly because the author has a partially jaded view on happiness (a self declared negative person) and mostly because he has a hard time trying to quantify the qualities that make these very different cultures happy.

Nourishing Traditions and the Attraction to What We Can't Have

The other day I was hanging out with Krista and she mentioned this nutrition cook book whose basic angle is that whole unmodified foods are best for you. And that our society's obsession with altering food formats (by homogenizing, sterilizing, or denaturing) is seriously detrimental to our digestion and general health. This book also promotes eating fermented foods.

While I was in college I got really into this type of nutrition; and was a huge advocate of this philosophy. My philosophy is still pretty closely aligned, however I am a vegetarian and this book isn't completely on board with that. I also feel strongly about only eating foods that have a low glycemic index.

As a side, there's been studies that have linked folks who eat fermented foods with less incidence of allergies. I've been taking a probiotic recently and my honeypot took it for some days. While he was taking it he had less issues with his body reacting to certain foods. Interesting, no?

I'm going to make yogurt today, and see how it goes. Wish me luck.

On another note, my serger has been breaking needles for several weeks now when it shouldn't be. I finally brought it in to get it fixed because the timing probably is off. It'll be gone for a week and now that it's gone I've come up with all of these projects that I want to do. Why are we attracted to things we can't have? I must be patient.

Big Bellied Swimming

I can't express how fantastic swimming is when you're big bellied. I only wish I had made time to do it earlier.

I went to our local pool today during their open swim and swam laps for an hour. They were slow laps. It was so nice!

I'm sure I'll go again tomorrow.

Has a Week Really Gone By Already?

I'm always amazed at how fast time passes on by.

There are lots of high lights this past week. Like my in-laws visiting, going to the California Academy of Sciences night exhibit to celebrate a friend's birthday, hanging out at the Thornton's complete with a watermelon seed and cherry pitt spitting contest, visiting with my friend Krista and her daughter Molly (so cute!), sneaking up to win a game of settlers, watching The Hangover (pretty entertaining and that has a character that reminds me of somebody I know), starting to write my first iPhone webapp using iWebKit, and yesterday going to Angel Island to celebrate another friend's birthday and hiking the 5 mile perimeter trail. It felt really good to hike and hang out with friends, but I can really feel it today. Besides all that, I've been running loads of errands. They never end, it seems.

Another highlight for me has been our screen printing adventures. My honeypot and I have been hanging out a lot this past weekend and we've been exploring the world of screen printing. He's done it a couple times before, but I haven't. I've had really bad luck getting good screens to come out and am going to work at it again, possibly today. The onsies pictured are my honeypot's first two color design.

In other news my Mother had emergency surgery mid week due to a hernia in her small intestine. It sounded really painful, and they finally operated on her to solve it. She's recovering well, and sounds in good spirits. It's pretty lucky that they figured out what was wrong and were able to fix it.

And another not so great thing that happened this past week is my iPhone tweaked out .. again. Just randomly my phone was acting really weird so I rebooted it (which in the past has solved it's responsiveness issues), except this time when it came back it had no service or software it appears. There's an image above. Apparently when they die, they die hard. I've had other random issues with my phone before, and while I still like what it does and mostly how it works, I find it really annoying that it's not dependable. Thankfully it only dies infrequently, or I would have ditched it a while ago. As it turns out, I rebooted it again and presto(!) it's all back to normal, even going so far as to remember all my data. I guess it was a hiccup.

It's Vacation!

Even though Friday was my last day of work, today is the first day that I didn't have to go to work! So today is the first day of my vacation. You wouldn't know it from the list I've been working through today. Half of it is probably the direct result of hormones. You don't know what I'm talking about? Well, the urge to clean my house is pretty out of control. I've been getting some pretty serious exercise cleaning my house more thoroughly than it's been in, well.... it might be forever. I spent a large portion of my weekend cleaning like a maniac, and today was the bathroom. Who knew cleaning a bathroom could be aerobic.

I think they call this "nesting."

Roomba got used in a couple rooms, but somehow it still took me hours to "prep" the room for the little robot. And our kitchen was so bad that she actually complained before she was done. Her dirt compartment was so full that she was actually dragging around this big ball of dirt. Perhaps this is more information than you wanted. (Wait until we start blogging about the bowel movements of our new baby! Kidding - I hope we never do that.) Needless to say, our home has recently gotten a "deep" cleaning thanks to the baby.

My mother-in-law is on her way here right now with her sister and her dog. Hopefully Stella will remember the dog and not be so freaked out. It'd be nice if they could just be friends, or sort of ignore each other, or something. I think Stella would prefer to be ignored and ignore, but I think Sierra really wants to be friends. If only she understood the sheer hours it sometimes takes Stella to warm up to other non-human creatures, maybe she'd just give up.

I think my two nieces are going to stay here tonight also. It's going to be a full house! It'll be fun to catch up. I fell like it's been a while. (I hope I don't go into labor tonight.)

Braxton Hicks Contractions

I've had two contractions over the past couple of days. They both caught my full attention. One was a couple days ago in the kitchen while cooking, and the other was when I was almost done hauling myself up the four flights of stairs to work today (my last day for several months!). I'm not really worried or anything because it's pretty normal for bodies to have some "practice" before the final show. In a way, I appreciate the teaser, because it's giving me a glimps into what's coming down the road. I think it'll make it easier because there's just that much less unknown. (And there's still going to be quite a bit of unknown.)

They're different than anything else I've ever felt. They were really strong, but not in a painful way. They were sorta like a strong tightening of everything from above my pelvic floor up to my mid belly. But it wasn't like a cramp at all. I'm at a loss of how to really describe the sensation. And it didn't hurt. I hope labor doesn't hurt either. (haha) I really wish I could describe these better.

As a side, I really liked this article about birth, so I'm putting it here so you too can read it.

Car Seat Training

Becoming familiar with the car seat is one of the remaining things we have left on the birth preparation list that my midwife has. There are some percentages of births where they will transfer you and the baby to the hospital after the baby is born. I'm guessing in those cases it's probably pretty important to be ready to leave quickly and not have to be learning this new device. They're not extremely complicated, but they're a new kind of gadget and not completely instinctual.

Last night my honeypot and I played with the car seat and got it all set up in the car. We even adjusted it for Elmo, who might be about the right size for a newborn. I suppose we'll see.

The Mindlessness of Life

For a while now I've had a hard time standing on my bare feet. Mostly I think it's because of the relaxin; a hormone that relaxes pelvic ligaments and helps prepare my body for birth. I'm pretty sure that this stuff is why my feet are flat now. I've always been happier with arch supports in my shoes, but my feet were never completely flat against the ground when standing barefoot as they are now.

As a result of this, my feet and legs get really painful after standing without shoes pretty quickly. I've always kicked off my shoes as soon as I get home. I like to hang out with socks or barefoot. Well, despite how much better it is to keep my shoes on, for months I've still been kicking my shoes off as soon as I get home. It's so mindless because it's caused me to stop cooking and doing all these other things I love to do that require me to stand. All this, simply because I basically didn't notice that I was kicking my shoes off when I really should have been keeping them on. It's one of those mindless habits that was so ingrained in my life that it's consequences never really occurred to me until recently. This mindlessness has really affected my life by changing the things I would do in my free time. It's pretty incredible to me.

The best part is now that I'm thinking about it and keeping my shoes on at home, I find myself repeatedly starting to take them off. Or noticing that somehow they've disappeared from my feet again. It's so mindlessly etched in my habits.

Baby Shower for Junior

My friends threw me this great baby shower this weekend. It was pretty non-traditional (I think; I haven't been to many "traditional" ones) in that we basically hung out, painted onsies and had a ceremony. And Junior got some gifts also. It was really nice! Thank you for organizing it everybody!

I'm been thinking lately about why I have an instinctual aversion to these types of gatherings (the ones where I'm the center of attention). When Christy asked me if I wanted a baby shower my gut reaction was "No." But then as I thought about it, I do actually want to celebrate my baby and I do like haning out with my friends. I like traditions and I think they're pretty important. Their importance all comes down to my spiritual/universal belief systems. I think it's important to deliberately tell the universe things. And there's more power in doing that as a group.

I've discovered that events where I become the center of attention are really uncomfortable for me. But why is that? I'm fine organizing things and I'm fine expressing myself and arguing points in meetings with upper management. I'm actually find speaking in front of groups when I know the material I'm speaking about. Somehow that's all different. I have an idea as to why this is and it all relates to how I was raised. While growing up, if I was the center of attention it meant that it was very likely that I would get criticized. When I was hiding away in the corners or just being alone I wasn't the focus and so I wasn't getting that negative attention. I can't actually think of another reason why I don't like being the center of attention.

This might also explain why I like to be alone so much. I'm definitely one of those people that "recharge" by being alone. So is this a trait that I had before growing up in the environment that I did, or did I learn it from growing up like that?

Upcoming Father's Day

The other day somebody asked me what I was looking forward to with this new family addition. It's something that I've been thinking about quite a bit since then.

One thing that keeps bubbling to the surface of my mind is the excitement I have at getting to watch my honeypot turn into a Father. I've noticed pretty much ever since I've known him how drawn to kids he is and how amazing he is when playing and interacting with various aged kids. It seems to me that kids are also drawn to him too.

In some ways my honeypot is still a kid at heart. He still has the ability to play, which I think quite a few adults have lost. This ability and attraction to playing still permeates his life in many ways. It's the attraction to exploring new things, and seeking out those new experiences. It's also slowing down enough to mindfully be aware of the little things and enjoy them. In a lot of ways I think this is the source of some, if not all, of his life force. It's still a part of mine too.

I'm really looking forward to watching him help our daughter learn how to explore her world and play with it and us.

The image is the symbol for father on the left and daughter on the right in Kanji.

California Maternity Leave

(Click on the image to see a large/readable version of it.)

I had the honor of attending a Mom's group of women that are going to give birth in the next couple of months using the care of my midwife. (Who is awesome, by the way! I'd like to give a shout out for her apprentice Ellah who I've been working with quite a bit also.)

Here we are, all big bellied women who are scheduled to pop in the next couple of months and there's so much confusion about maternity benefits. In the state of California there are no less than 4 various laws and acts, some federal, some state, specifying what leave you get, if or how much you get paid, and some of them overlap each other. Your leave specifics depend on the following:

• your company size (50+ employees withing 75 miles)
  
• your company classification (manufacturing vs. other)
• how long you've worked for your company and how many hours you've logged
  
• whether or not your company pays into the State Disability Insurance program (SDI). (Which is a company choice.)
  
• what type of birth you end up having (caesarian or vaginal birth)
• and of course if you're lucky enough to work for a company that has their own policy that's more than the state one; lucky you! (like Google with 18 weeks of full pay, where you can take it however you want, like coming back after 3 months and working half time at full pay for another 3 months.)
  

I hope this chart helps you. In all my research, I have found it to be 100% accurate at the time of this post. The gist is that for the state of California and post vaginal birth, we get 4 months off with our job and benefits protected. If your paycheck has a line item paying into SDI, then you'll get 55% of your salary up to a cap for the first 3 months of that. The last month is no pay, just job and benefits protection. This all depends on company size and other details.

Prior to birth you will get paid for 4 weeks off (55% of salary up to a cap), with the first week unpaid through California SDI (assuming your paycheck has that line item). Your company (not you) can choose to use a week of your paid time off, or sick leave, to pay you during that first week, then the next 4 weeks are paid through SDI.

If you don't use this pre birth time off, you lose it. You can not add it to your post birth leave. Also, if you end up going into labor later than expected, and end up being out of work for 6 weeks prior to giving birth, you will only get SDI pay for 4 weeks, after that first unpaid week, and then you don't get paid anything the last week. It's a tricky thing to time, because nobody really knows when you'll go into labor, assuming you're not having a scheduled caesarian.

If you end up going into labor one week after you left work, you will only get paid if your company was going to use your PTO or sick leave for that first unpaid week of SDI. You won't get any of the pre birth paid part of SDI.

It's so confusing. But count your blessings if you live here in California. We have some of the best maternity benefits in the US. Most other people get 6 weeks unpaid, except that their company can choose to bleed out all of their sick and PTO leave to pay them. Can you imagine coming back to work with a 6 week old in childcare where you no longer have any PTO or sick leave to take if your child gets sick? Most childcare places won't take a sick child, so what do you do? I suppose hope that your work is flexible. Which mine is. Ridiculously so, actually. I'm a very luck person to work where I do for a variety of reasons, one of which is how flexible and accommodating everybody is. Yeah for my company! and Yeah for working in California!

Here's another great article about CA Maternity Leave.

Ruffler Foot

I've been sewing so much more than normal lately. Besides making specific maternity clothes, I've made a sundress that I can fit into and made new curtains for several rooms in our house. Most of these projects had ruffles or pleats on them and they take forever to do by hand. I've always known there's such a thing as a ruffle foot and a couple years ago I vaguely remember putting some energy into finding one that would fit my machine. But I don't remember ever getting one.

Well, again I had become focused on finding a ruffle foot for my machine and even went to a sewing store last weekend and talked to them about ordering one. Since I didn't have my machine information I wasn't able to order one at that time, which ended up being a pretty good thing.

A couple days ago I'm looking through this pile of stuff in my craft area and guess what I found?! The pictured ruffle foot! I can't believe it. I'm pretty sure I didn't buy it myself, but I do have some vague memories of asking my honeypot to get one at the sewing store near his work maybe a year or two ago. And it looks like he got me one(!!), and I stashed it and forgot about it.

Well, this thing is pretty fantastic. You can see how complicated it is by the picture, and I haven't yet figured out how to make it gather a particular amount of fabric predictably. I'm sure I just need to play with it some more because there are a lot of parts that can be adjusted and there's 4 settings to choose from. I'm so excited to have this new gadget (that will save me so much time!!)

I'm Like the Big Plane

So about a week or so ago this simile came to me in response to the question "How are you feeling?"

Do you remember the combat game for the Atari 2600? I think it may have come with the game console sometime in the late 70's or early 80's. The cartridge had 30 or so games and one of them looked like the picture. It was a two player game where the big plane and the little planes would shoot at each other. The big plane maneuvered slower, but could shoot farther. The set of 3 small planes (which always flew in that same formation) could maneuver faster, but couldn't shoot as far.

Well, I think the best way to describe how I'm feeling is this:
I'm the big plane
and I used to be one of the small planes. I move slower, it's harder to get up from a sitting position and the insides of my torso are cramped. It's different to historically have been the hyper one bouncing around, and now I don't really do that. My plane is too large, it's too uncomfortable, and I don't really have the inclination or energy anyway. Hopefully, I'll get my physical spring back after birth. Maybe after we catch up on our sleep.

I'm officially 38 weeks according to my midwifery care.

Maniacal Drivers Depend on the Time

Due to my large size, I've been driving to work every day.

The real reason why I drive is that sometimes I can't get a seat on the BART and it kills my feet and legs to stand for 40 minutes. I have lots of opinions about the really rude people who won't give up their seats to the pregnant lady on a subway train. Truthfully, most of the time folks would move when I asked, but there was an occasion when they would not. On that one occasion I sat on the floor, but it's pretty hard for me to get up off the floor these days, and if I stand the entire trip my feet will hurt all day long. And also pretty frequently I don't want to have to ask for a seat nor do I want to risk not getting one at this late stage. So I drive to avoid it all.

Lately, I've been going to bed around 8:30pm or so and getting up around 6am or sometimes earlier. It means I can be at work by 7:30am which has lots of cool side effects.

• The first one is that people don't drive like maniacs this early in the morning. There's still tons of traffic, but it's not jammed up yet, usually.
  
• The bridge isn't usually backed up yet, either. Or if it is, it's a small back up.
  
• There's tons of all day street parking near my work. (I used to have a parking spot in a lot, but our company recently decided to only pay for half of those parking permits. I think they thought we would just pay the other half of it ourselves, but lots of us just street park now and move our cars during the day. Oh, the struggles of becoming profitable.)
• I have hours to work without getting interrupted and asked questions. So, I actually get a lot done early in my day, before all the meetings typically start.
• I get to leave work early enough that businesses are still open, and there's many hours of daylight to do my walk. (I'm still walking about 3mls every day after work. It's getting harder and harder, but I'm trying to keep it up.)
  

The maniac driver thing is a very large, important thing for me. It really makes the difference between being slightly on edge and jumpy while driving to and from work and being pretty chill and relaxed.

When I drive later, say more towards 8 or 9am, you will have several experiences where people will change lanes without signaling into maybe 10 feet of empty space in front of you while the person who is already in front of you is braking. This situation will leave you maybe a couple feet behind them as they slam into your lane and brake hard. It's pretty scary, and annoying.

And it's only worst if you're the kind of mellow driver that I usually am where I leave space in front of me. Then you get these types diving in front of you the entire way to work. Or my favorite is those people who tail you more and more because you do leave that couple car length in front of you and get visibly frustrated when you let somebody in in front of you (which I usually do if they signal.) Like somehow you're making them personally late to get to work or something. It's pretty entertaining to watch and think about, but it's just so weird. If people were just a little nicer and mellower, all of traffic would move better.

I really am entertained by watching traffic. It's almost as interesting as going somewhere and watching a new culture (which I love!) I think I got more into traffic after reading this really surprising book about, well, traffic.

Maternity Clothes

I've been sewing quite a bit lately. Most of it has been making maternity clothes that I like and are comfortable. I had these two pairs of jeans that I was wearing almost every day for a while, but they've gotten so they're a little tight in this one place. It's like there's a tight string right at the join of the elastic top part and the "normal" looking pants part.

Regardless, I've found that the yoga pants with the stretchy knit top parts are so comfortable and great to wear. So I've just made my third skirt with that type of top part and finished it this morning. This skirt (pictured) and the last one are similar in that they're a patterned cotton weave fabric on the bottom, with a stretchy cotton knit panel on the top. I even made the stretchy knit part small enough that I'll be able to wear them when I'm no longer "big bellied." The other cool thing is that they both have pockets too!

The first skirt I made is completely made out of stretchy knit and is solid forest green. It's a little longer than the skirt in the picture, and doesn't flare as much either (because it's just cotton knit and nothing else.) It also doesn't have pockets. I made it pretty fast a couple weeks ago out of desperation of having very few options for what to wear.

This picture also shows how "big bellied" I really am. I was just told that if I went into labor now it would be okay. I guess that means I'm "fully baked" now. Statistically speaking, I probably won't go into labor for another 3 or 4 weeks though. First babies are usually late.

You can also see how much sun I've been getting in the picture. It's been so nice around here. I went on a bike ride and hike today. It will definitely be my last bike ride as I was in some pain with how squished everything was under my rib cage. There just isn't much room to work with anymore. I'm still looking forward to some more hiking, or urban hiking depending.

Learnings about Pregnancy

I really have learned quite a bit about being pregnant. And what I'm about to talk about could probably be applied easily enough to health care in general.

Basically it's this: If you don't take the time to describe your experience to your provider, in detail, they will have no way of knowing if something is wrong or "different." Yes, it really is that simple. I suppose it makes perfect sense, right? They aren't mind readers after all. There's a huge amount of variations in the experience of being pregnant that are completely normal, but there's some things that indicate other potential problems.

Up until several months ago I was all consuming reading books on pregnancy (and then moved on to taking care of a newborn). In reading the details of these wide variations in being pregnant, I really had convinced myself that everything that I was experiencing was "normal."

When my care provider would ask how I was doing I always answered with "good," and that's about all I said. I don't have a need to be one of those people that talk endlessly about my health and body because I really am ok. If something isn't okay with me, and if it's bad enough, I'll say something. But that prevents finding potential issues early on, because the symptoms have to get bad enough that I'm not okay anymore and I speak up.

The issue I found isn't a big deal, but if I had been describing my experience all along I would have beem more comfortable for about the last month. The issue isn't for public consumption here, but for those of you that are worried know this: I doesn't affect the unborn baby, only me and my comfort.

Other than that, all is well. I'm still active (albeit moving slower than before). I'm still working (and will be until my last day of June 26th). I'm still crafting, having fun, and going on bike rides. I've recently rediscovered the ability to sleep through the night again (mainly because I've learned how to sleep walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night). I've been making maternity clothes because the ones I bought don't really fit me anymore and I can't justify spending money on more when I only have a month or maybe 6 weeks left. And the best news of all is that this baby is in the optimal birthing position right now. Let's just hope she stays that way.

The Signs of Genius

Wow, it sure has been a long time since I last posted. There's a number of reasons for that. It began because all I was really thinking about and focusing on was being pregnant and we weren't ready for a public disclosure of that yet. I guess I got in the "habit" of not posting and time just ticked on by.

I have lots to say now and I've thought of several good posts in the past several weeks. Somehow I never made it here to post them though. I'll work on that and see how things go.

This picture is what happens when my honeypot starts to get creative with ink. It happens a couple times a year, in various rooms in our home. Pretty fun, huh?

In other news, I'm due in 8 weeks now. I feel huge but several folks have said that I'm not that big. (And I love them for that!) She's been moving so much. Sometimes it's really uncomfortable. She was head down (Left Occiput Anterior), which is the perfect birthing position, for the past several weeks. She flipped head up on Wednesday. Hopefully she'll flip again because right now she's in breech and my midwife won't deliver her at home. I've got 8 weeks to convince her to move around. Wish me luck!

Bittersweet

We walked around our hood today and stopped to have a cup of the best hot chocolate in town. I also noticed two three bedroom houses for rent all within ten blocks of us. One for $3500 and another for $2950. Don't those rents seem a little high to you? In other news my honeypot's been sick the past couple of days. My poor honeypot.

Another M3 Repair

Today I decided to take my M3 into work this morning, since my most recent repair on my Scion failed. The Scion is okay, but there is a part that's hanging off, and I need to do a mixture of epoxy, putty, and double-sided tape to make it good as new. So I hop in the other car and I only make it a few block before the "Check Control" light starts flashing. I take a look at the display and it says "Brake Light Circuit Error." Awesome. I figure that not having brake lights is a bit more dangerous than a cosmetic problem, so I turn around and switch cars at home. Looking around on the Internets, I find that this error is fairly common with my car (there are a disturbing large number of common problems with BMWs), and it usually means that there is a problem with the Brake Pedal Switch. I take a look at some DIY pages on how to replace the part (fortunately the switch only costs about $35), and I see that they all say that removing the switch is a bitch. Now, almost every job on the M3 has at least one task that everyone says is a goddamn pain-in-the-ass, and just about every time they're right. Well, I came close to following one of the DIYs that mentioned that breaking off a small clip at the front of the switch makes removing the part a lot easier. I broke off the clip, but instead of coming out, it just stayed wedged in there. I ended up wresting with the part with vice-grip pliers for about a half hour before it finally disintegrated enough to be removed. Hopefully putting the new part in will be easier and hopefully it will actually resolve the issue. I freakin' got to get rid of this car...

Dummies and Idiots

I love these books. Well, not really. I actually think they're sort of
offensive. Though I guess people appreciate the standardized formats.

Today I went to this very fun bookstore in Manhattan and had to take
this picture. At least they're shelved all in one place so they're
easy to avoid.