Baby Shower for Junior

My friends threw me this great baby shower this weekend. It was pretty non-traditional (I think; I haven't been to many "traditional" ones) in that we basically hung out, painted onsies and had a ceremony. And Junior got some gifts also. It was really nice! Thank you for organizing it everybody!

I'm been thinking lately about why I have an instinctual aversion to these types of gatherings (the ones where I'm the center of attention). When Christy asked me if I wanted a baby shower my gut reaction was "No." But then as I thought about it, I do actually want to celebrate my baby and I do like haning out with my friends. I like traditions and I think they're pretty important. Their importance all comes down to my spiritual/universal belief systems. I think it's important to deliberately tell the universe things. And there's more power in doing that as a group.

I've discovered that events where I become the center of attention are really uncomfortable for me. But why is that? I'm fine organizing things and I'm fine expressing myself and arguing points in meetings with upper management. I'm actually find speaking in front of groups when I know the material I'm speaking about. Somehow that's all different. I have an idea as to why this is and it all relates to how I was raised. While growing up, if I was the center of attention it meant that it was very likely that I would get criticized. When I was hiding away in the corners or just being alone I wasn't the focus and so I wasn't getting that negative attention. I can't actually think of another reason why I don't like being the center of attention.

This might also explain why I like to be alone so much. I'm definitely one of those people that "recharge" by being alone. So is this a trait that I had before growing up in the environment that I did, or did I learn it from growing up like that?