It's Vacation!

Even though Friday was my last day of work, today is the first day that I didn't have to go to work! So today is the first day of my vacation. You wouldn't know it from the list I've been working through today. Half of it is probably the direct result of hormones. You don't know what I'm talking about? Well, the urge to clean my house is pretty out of control. I've been getting some pretty serious exercise cleaning my house more thoroughly than it's been in, well.... it might be forever. I spent a large portion of my weekend cleaning like a maniac, and today was the bathroom. Who knew cleaning a bathroom could be aerobic.

I think they call this "nesting."

Roomba got used in a couple rooms, but somehow it still took me hours to "prep" the room for the little robot. And our kitchen was so bad that she actually complained before she was done. Her dirt compartment was so full that she was actually dragging around this big ball of dirt. Perhaps this is more information than you wanted. (Wait until we start blogging about the bowel movements of our new baby! Kidding - I hope we never do that.) Needless to say, our home has recently gotten a "deep" cleaning thanks to the baby.

My mother-in-law is on her way here right now with her sister and her dog. Hopefully Stella will remember the dog and not be so freaked out. It'd be nice if they could just be friends, or sort of ignore each other, or something. I think Stella would prefer to be ignored and ignore, but I think Sierra really wants to be friends. If only she understood the sheer hours it sometimes takes Stella to warm up to other non-human creatures, maybe she'd just give up.

I think my two nieces are going to stay here tonight also. It's going to be a full house! It'll be fun to catch up. I fell like it's been a while. (I hope I don't go into labor tonight.)

Braxton Hicks Contractions

I've had two contractions over the past couple of days. They both caught my full attention. One was a couple days ago in the kitchen while cooking, and the other was when I was almost done hauling myself up the four flights of stairs to work today (my last day for several months!). I'm not really worried or anything because it's pretty normal for bodies to have some "practice" before the final show. In a way, I appreciate the teaser, because it's giving me a glimps into what's coming down the road. I think it'll make it easier because there's just that much less unknown. (And there's still going to be quite a bit of unknown.)

They're different than anything else I've ever felt. They were really strong, but not in a painful way. They were sorta like a strong tightening of everything from above my pelvic floor up to my mid belly. But it wasn't like a cramp at all. I'm at a loss of how to really describe the sensation. And it didn't hurt. I hope labor doesn't hurt either. (haha) I really wish I could describe these better.

As a side, I really liked this article about birth, so I'm putting it here so you too can read it.

Car Seat Training

Becoming familiar with the car seat is one of the remaining things we have left on the birth preparation list that my midwife has. There are some percentages of births where they will transfer you and the baby to the hospital after the baby is born. I'm guessing in those cases it's probably pretty important to be ready to leave quickly and not have to be learning this new device. They're not extremely complicated, but they're a new kind of gadget and not completely instinctual.

Last night my honeypot and I played with the car seat and got it all set up in the car. We even adjusted it for Elmo, who might be about the right size for a newborn. I suppose we'll see.

The Mindlessness of Life

For a while now I've had a hard time standing on my bare feet. Mostly I think it's because of the relaxin; a hormone that relaxes pelvic ligaments and helps prepare my body for birth. I'm pretty sure that this stuff is why my feet are flat now. I've always been happier with arch supports in my shoes, but my feet were never completely flat against the ground when standing barefoot as they are now.

As a result of this, my feet and legs get really painful after standing without shoes pretty quickly. I've always kicked off my shoes as soon as I get home. I like to hang out with socks or barefoot. Well, despite how much better it is to keep my shoes on, for months I've still been kicking my shoes off as soon as I get home. It's so mindless because it's caused me to stop cooking and doing all these other things I love to do that require me to stand. All this, simply because I basically didn't notice that I was kicking my shoes off when I really should have been keeping them on. It's one of those mindless habits that was so ingrained in my life that it's consequences never really occurred to me until recently. This mindlessness has really affected my life by changing the things I would do in my free time. It's pretty incredible to me.

The best part is now that I'm thinking about it and keeping my shoes on at home, I find myself repeatedly starting to take them off. Or noticing that somehow they've disappeared from my feet again. It's so mindlessly etched in my habits.

Baby Shower for Junior

My friends threw me this great baby shower this weekend. It was pretty non-traditional (I think; I haven't been to many "traditional" ones) in that we basically hung out, painted onsies and had a ceremony. And Junior got some gifts also. It was really nice! Thank you for organizing it everybody!

I'm been thinking lately about why I have an instinctual aversion to these types of gatherings (the ones where I'm the center of attention). When Christy asked me if I wanted a baby shower my gut reaction was "No." But then as I thought about it, I do actually want to celebrate my baby and I do like haning out with my friends. I like traditions and I think they're pretty important. Their importance all comes down to my spiritual/universal belief systems. I think it's important to deliberately tell the universe things. And there's more power in doing that as a group.

I've discovered that events where I become the center of attention are really uncomfortable for me. But why is that? I'm fine organizing things and I'm fine expressing myself and arguing points in meetings with upper management. I'm actually find speaking in front of groups when I know the material I'm speaking about. Somehow that's all different. I have an idea as to why this is and it all relates to how I was raised. While growing up, if I was the center of attention it meant that it was very likely that I would get criticized. When I was hiding away in the corners or just being alone I wasn't the focus and so I wasn't getting that negative attention. I can't actually think of another reason why I don't like being the center of attention.

This might also explain why I like to be alone so much. I'm definitely one of those people that "recharge" by being alone. So is this a trait that I had before growing up in the environment that I did, or did I learn it from growing up like that?

Upcoming Father's Day

The other day somebody asked me what I was looking forward to with this new family addition. It's something that I've been thinking about quite a bit since then.

One thing that keeps bubbling to the surface of my mind is the excitement I have at getting to watch my honeypot turn into a Father. I've noticed pretty much ever since I've known him how drawn to kids he is and how amazing he is when playing and interacting with various aged kids. It seems to me that kids are also drawn to him too.

In some ways my honeypot is still a kid at heart. He still has the ability to play, which I think quite a few adults have lost. This ability and attraction to playing still permeates his life in many ways. It's the attraction to exploring new things, and seeking out those new experiences. It's also slowing down enough to mindfully be aware of the little things and enjoy them. In a lot of ways I think this is the source of some, if not all, of his life force. It's still a part of mine too.

I'm really looking forward to watching him help our daughter learn how to explore her world and play with it and us.

The image is the symbol for father on the left and daughter on the right in Kanji.

California Maternity Leave

(Click on the image to see a large/readable version of it.)

I had the honor of attending a Mom's group of women that are going to give birth in the next couple of months using the care of my midwife. (Who is awesome, by the way! I'd like to give a shout out for her apprentice Ellah who I've been working with quite a bit also.)

Here we are, all big bellied women who are scheduled to pop in the next couple of months and there's so much confusion about maternity benefits. In the state of California there are no less than 4 various laws and acts, some federal, some state, specifying what leave you get, if or how much you get paid, and some of them overlap each other. Your leave specifics depend on the following:

• your company size (50+ employees withing 75 miles)
  
• your company classification (manufacturing vs. other)
• how long you've worked for your company and how many hours you've logged
  
• whether or not your company pays into the State Disability Insurance program (SDI). (Which is a company choice.)
  
• what type of birth you end up having (caesarian or vaginal birth)
• and of course if you're lucky enough to work for a company that has their own policy that's more than the state one; lucky you! (like Google with 18 weeks of full pay, where you can take it however you want, like coming back after 3 months and working half time at full pay for another 3 months.)
  

I hope this chart helps you. In all my research, I have found it to be 100% accurate at the time of this post. The gist is that for the state of California and post vaginal birth, we get 4 months off with our job and benefits protected. If your paycheck has a line item paying into SDI, then you'll get 55% of your salary up to a cap for the first 3 months of that. The last month is no pay, just job and benefits protection. This all depends on company size and other details.

Prior to birth you will get paid for 4 weeks off (55% of salary up to a cap), with the first week unpaid through California SDI (assuming your paycheck has that line item). Your company (not you) can choose to use a week of your paid time off, or sick leave, to pay you during that first week, then the next 4 weeks are paid through SDI.

If you don't use this pre birth time off, you lose it. You can not add it to your post birth leave. Also, if you end up going into labor later than expected, and end up being out of work for 6 weeks prior to giving birth, you will only get SDI pay for 4 weeks, after that first unpaid week, and then you don't get paid anything the last week. It's a tricky thing to time, because nobody really knows when you'll go into labor, assuming you're not having a scheduled caesarian.

If you end up going into labor one week after you left work, you will only get paid if your company was going to use your PTO or sick leave for that first unpaid week of SDI. You won't get any of the pre birth paid part of SDI.

It's so confusing. But count your blessings if you live here in California. We have some of the best maternity benefits in the US. Most other people get 6 weeks unpaid, except that their company can choose to bleed out all of their sick and PTO leave to pay them. Can you imagine coming back to work with a 6 week old in childcare where you no longer have any PTO or sick leave to take if your child gets sick? Most childcare places won't take a sick child, so what do you do? I suppose hope that your work is flexible. Which mine is. Ridiculously so, actually. I'm a very luck person to work where I do for a variety of reasons, one of which is how flexible and accommodating everybody is. Yeah for my company! and Yeah for working in California!

Here's another great article about CA Maternity Leave.