Smiles and Hands

Madelyn has been finding her hands recently. She actually found them a couple weeks ago now, but has been getting really good at using them. We have this rattle that I can hold in front of her and she'll actually grab it. She's also become pretty proficient at getting her fist in her mouth.

She's also so extremely smiley. I love the huge grins she gives me, pretty much anytime I see her. She makes me smile really large too. Who could help themselves? I also love the power of suggesting that I have where I can smile large at her and she'll smile back, even if she's not in the best of moods. Though she's such a happy baby most of the time.

This picture isn't even her smiling big. This is just a casual smile. If her eyes were squinted shut, then you'd know she's smiling big.

I'm going to try harder

Using this blog, I've really wanted to write down my thoughts and experiences with Madelyn (12 weeks old yesterday!) as they were happening. But somehow I haven't found the time. It still amazes me how fast and yet also so slow time passes with a small baby. Will it be like this for the rest of my time watching her grow up?

I feel so fortunate to have Madelyn as our baby. She has the best temperament. She's mellow, smiley and sleeps well enough. I really can't imagine what I would do with a baby that cried a lot and was in general pretty fussy often. It just tears me up when she's unhappy.

I've had fussy moments with Madelyn, but I've figured out that mostly those were due to either her being way over tired, the huge amount of gas she was getting from most of the formulas that I was using, or a combination of the two. So I finally figured out a formula (a mix, really) that seems to do the trick and I'm much more aware of how much stimulation she gets.

I've also figured out that she's a "cat napper", and if I don't get her to a good nap space in the window before she shows strong signs of being tired, she won't sleep at all. So with that first yawn I give her a chance to catch one of her "cat naps." I've only seen her nap longer than about 20 minutes at a time once or twice.

I used to think it would be nice if she had longer naps during the day, but I've come to realize how fortunate I am that she sleeps well enough at night and has good sleeping skills. She's recently shown the pattern of going to sleep around 8pm and being awake for the day around 6am. And during that time she only feeds twice or once. She's able to put herself back to sleep by herself also, which is a huge skill to have. It means that when she's ready, she'll probably sleep through the night with little fuss.

We currently have family bed, which I think will become more important to me as I return to work and will no longer be with her during the day. It also makes the nighttime feedings really easy. I can't imagine having to actually drag myself out of bed for each night feeding.

Here's Madelyn taking a nap. We've decided to let her use the pacifier so that we would be able to take it away, as opposed to her getting into the habit of sucking on her hands.

5 weeks and 2 days ago you were born

I can't believe 5 weeks have passed already and I can't believe that it's only been 5 weeks!

I feel like in the past couple weeks I've finally mostly gotten the hang of this Mom thing. I feel like most of the time I can fix whatever is making Madelyn unhappy. Most of the time. And during those times when I can't, it tears me up inside.

Madelyn is usually a pretty mellow baby. She's usually happy and when she has unhappy times, they can be solved. Usually. For the past couple days she's been having a really large amount of gas. She gets really unhappy about that, to the point of scream crying. Sometimes doing bicycle movements with her legs, or massage with help. But sometimes nothing seems to help. When that's the case it's really hard to deal with. Even though I know there's nothing I can do, it still tears me up inside. It makes me crazy, really. The hormonal reaction in me when Madelyn is crying is so intense. Wow, is all I can say. I can see why some women go nuts. I've gotten pretty close myself, but only a couple times. Luckily I do have the presence of mind to walk away and calm down.

I'm completely against leaving a crying infant alone. I think that at the very least they should have human contact and comfort especially if you can't solve their problem. I also believe that it's in everybody's interest for me to walk away for a couple minutes when I get so worked up. It's the dichotomy of parenting, I suppose.

Nada, Zilch

It's been a week since I lasted posted and I was sure a week ago that we would be so busy with our new bundle of joy that I wouldn't be posting for that reason.

Well, I have not delivered yet. I'm now officially 1 week overdue from my ultrasound date of July 19th. Our daughter is firmly a Leo now (so much for being a Cancer).

I started a series of acupuncture last Thursday for inducing labor and my midwife told me to relax because my body is still showing signs of progress, even if they're not as fast as I would like.

The last day my midwife can deliver me at home is August 2nd, at which point I'll be 42 weeks. I've been told that she's never not been able to induce before that point. Castor Oil appears to be the favorite last ditch mechanism, but I think that she thinks I'll naturally go into labor before then. I guess we'll see.

All the predicted dates of delivery by various friends has passed. The only other fun date is July 26th, which is my mother-in-law's birthday. That would be quite a present, but I'm guessing I would already have to be in labor to make that mark at this point. I'm expecting labor to take many hours, 16+ or so. But I really have no idea how long it will take in it's entirety.

Weekend Fun and Due Date

The best part of my weekends right now is that my honeypot is around. Otherwise he's at work.

I took it pretty slow this weekend. My energy levels are pretty low these days. Today's my due date (according to the 20 week sizing ultrasound.) My other due date was the 7th and that was based on my own information. Any day now I should be "popping." I'm completely ready and slightly desperate to have that happen. I'm really uncomfortable right now.

Yesterday I made a pair of purple yoga pants complete with a fold over top that I can wear right now, and when I'm not "big bellied" also. I only really have one other pair of pants that I can wear right now and I'm liking wearing them a lot more lately.

Earlier in the day we went down to San Leandro and hung out with my honeypot's sister while she unpacked. She moved into a house close to a new teaching job she took. It's a super cute house with a great back deck. It'll be great for parties.

Today I went to the Renegade Craft Fair and then had lunch at Plant. They both were really awesome. The craft fair had so many really creative vendors and inspiring artists. Quite a bit of the style of the crafts there remind me of Portland, OR. I bought a really cool purple coat even though it was breaking my rule. (I'm not allowed to buy clothes that I can't try on which means anything not maternity.) I couldn't pass this coat up, it's not something I would ever run across again. It's just that cool and creative.

Plant is this amazing restaurant that I'd heard about before from my honeypot. He ate there after a bike ride and loved it. I was also really impressed with the food. I had the garden burger, but the name doesn't describe how amazing it was. It was this lentil and beet patty with tons of other stuff (vegies and seeds) on really good bread with a side salad. They had lots of vegan options and everything just looked amazing. The best part is that they were still serving brunch and it was probably 2pm or so. Too bad it's not closer, we'd probably go there often. I'll have to do my best to remember it for when we're in the city and hungry.

Then we went to the park and played with juggling clubs, whips and just watched the dogs and people. Today was beautiful and sunny. I didn't last long in the park though because currently it's really hard on my body to sit without back support.

Lake Merritt

Yesterday I got up really early and continued my tour of coffee shops. This time I walked to one that's on the edge of what I would call "my neighborhood." I had the best bagel and egg and mocha there. They even double toasted the bagel for me. And the best part is that they open up at 6am. This is really great for folks like me that can't sleep so well anymore.

Yesterday afternoon I decided that I wanted to go for a walk and get some exercise. Instead of doing the loop that I normally do around here, I decided to drive to the other end of town and walk around Lake Merritt. It's a really nice walk and there are always tons of joggers there also. It's 3.2 miles and I had walked it last week with my friend with no issues.

I made it about half way around when I realized that this wasn't such a good idea. I've been really achy and sore lately, probably my body getting more and more ready for birth, and doing this walk was really taking it out of me. I had also already walked several miles earlier in the day for that coffee shop visit and an errand. Anyway, finishing the loop ended up being quite a chore and I was pretty beat up the rest of the day and night. Luckily I woke up today and I feel ok. I'm still achy and sore, but that's become "normal" lately. I guess that's the great disadvantage of walking around a lake, you can't cut and make it shorter if you need to. I'll be keeping that in mind for the next week or whatever I have left when I'm taking my walks.

Pregnancy Update, Fleas and Mites

I just had an appointment with my midwife and her apprentice and I was told that I'm 50% effaced and -2 engaged (which is how far down the pelvic cavity she is currently, the larger the negative, the farther down she is). She mentioned that I had about another week to go, and that the effacement was super soft and really great.

Knowing that I probably have another week has inspired me to start working on the yard a bit. We still have this open part just waiting to get planted with some food starts. It's been sitting fallow since I took out the tomatoes easily half a year ago now.

Yesterday I cleaned like a maniac again because I kept getting bitten and I'm pretty sure that it's flea bites. I treated Stella last week for fleas, but I'm guessing she had them bad enough that they just jumped cat and were lurking and waiting to bite myself and my honeypot. So I basically washed everything made of fabric in hot water, vacuumed like crazy, and I think I've got them beat. I'm so glad that we have hardwood floors and not carpet. It's so much harder to beat them when the entire house is carpeted.